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ali<3

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[27 Jul 2006|11:58am]
lets see......
work- tried to quite yesterday, i think successfully
home- living w/my mom still but at my dads today
school- leaving sept 3rd and couldnt be more nervous/excited
friends- a few domestic disputes, theres soem working out to be done
love- pfft please. single and loving it.

getting my wisdom teeth pulled the 8th
birthday is the 3rd.
warped tour is the 4th.

things are pretty alright
Good Things

[01 May 2006|08:17pm]
ok so to update my life for those who are not fortunate enough to speak to me daily....
-living at my moms
-currently without real cell phone (old one borke in half, new oen doesnt work except texting, but im running out og messages, but im getting my old one back with my old number this week)
-currently single, and loving it!!!
-but of course, theres already new crushes in the air (-:
-but NO BOYFREINDS!!!!!!
-pfft
-goin to prom with christopher my love. wer gonna be bangin' hot.
-my boss doesnt pay the rent so i may or may not have a job?
-prom is soooooon
- i got everything, a date, dress, shoes, bag...all i need is jewelry (-:
-ummmm....ap lit test is thursday blech
-physics day is friday SWEET!
-im not sad anymore, got rid of everythign that brought me down.
-including cable, cuz my mosm awesome like that
-so yeah im back to my giddy self.
yupp. later

-oh and i missed a week of school for boston/stomach virus
...and got a detention for cutting wednesday, when i came and left before homeroom?

yeah thats it now <3
Good Things

[15 Apr 2006|01:02pm]
heyyyyyyyy......

so not living with my dad anymore, in case all my freinds that read this wonder why im never online anymore

just complete gayness went down.

other then that lifes niiiiice.

EASTER! CHOCOLATE LENTS OVER CHAOCOALTE AHHHHHHHHH

^ the inner thoughts  of a starving fat kid that has been deprived of chocolate for 40 days.

so yeah if you need me, call me. im never online anymore.

later.
Good Things

[03 Apr 2006|11:23am]
its funny how the things that have bothered me for weeks can be cleared up in one week end.

my dad and i drove down to toms river together so i could get a prom dress. 
which i did.
and its classy and fabulous.
and we tlaked about so much, 
like whats been bothering me, 
and how ive just gnerelly been bothered, 
but dotn know why.
and it was just really good.
i know it'll go back to the way things were in a few weeks,
but its good now so thats all that matters.

the fine wetaher lifted me up so much, 
i swear spring is my season.
i feel like i cna do anything,
and i wnat to do everything
and i want to see everyone
...which is really good, but a little bad lol

i also realized that all the crappy things 
that have been coming out of my mouth lately...
will stop.
i realized that i had to get rid of my 
"i dotn take shit from anyoen attitude"
because unfortunalety, the attitudes of many
and the words of well...2 girls
hurt me so much, to the point where i hardened myself
i thought, i wotn let anyone get soemthing that nasty past me again
and i hope they read this and feel bad.

but i realized, soemthign so cliche
(and all thsoe cliche phrases are really true, 
and really work. you just have to be in the right mindset)
i realized that life is too short to be pissed off all the time.
if soemone says something completely nasty, for no reason
then they will either feel bad later, 
and thats thier own punishment
or karmas gonna come back and kick them in the ass
and its not my job to be...well, a bitch

i used to be so easy going, and just let things go
and im going back to it.
i got so caught up in drama this year, 
im honestly a little embarassed that i let
such low class people drag me down

i took today from school. 
i only slept a little this weekend because i got woekn up
or i was drunk lol...
and then last night i slept 11 hours ha.
soo nice.

lastly, i realized that im still mourning jessie
well really, my dad made me realize.
im just not over it. at all
and i hate crying in school, so much
and i dotn wnat to do it anymore, 
schools almost over.
and i scream at people who do drugs, 
and just get myself upset
and its not worth it.
i cnat even think about it without getting really emotional.
oh, and soemone was on her screen name this week end.
i dotn get it.

sigh...
its rainy outside today,
but im kind of glad im not missing a gorgeous day

ps- i also realized im not nearly as good freind asi think i am lol


....lastly....
if your really upset, i mean really havign trouble with soemthing
listen to tisbury lane, by mae
on their b sides album, destination b-sides
i cna listen to it on repeat for hours
Good Things

[28 Mar 2006|02:50pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

well im starting to get ahead on thsoe loose ends, 
although there are things/people preventing em from really doign what i want to.

prom can still suck it. i need a dress. i found a pretty one, but thats just it-its pretty. i
 wnat to look mature. i dont care how gay i sound. lol

ive been crying over everythingggg lately. my hormones? emotions? idk! are just completely going nuts. 
ive had a kind of rough year. since august really. i know things could be worse, but they couldve been better too. 
although thats not a good attitude and i know it.

good people like steve loori are the only thing that keep me sane.

i have literally NO control over what comes out of my mouth anymore, its slightly out of hand
theres soemone that i dotn particularly like, and my freinds dotn either. 
and they were acting like their usual self, and said soemthign nasty for no reason, 
and i just snapped back with something completely obnoxious. 
and soemone really nice heard me say it. and im embarassed.
i mena the person totally deserved it, but i still feel liek an ass.
it reminds me of the movie you've got mail. 
meg ryans character cna never think of anything nasty to say when people provoke her. 
and tom hanks character always says the first thing that comes to his head, and then regrets it.
then one day, she says exactly what she wants to say, when she wanted to say it, and felt completely awful about it. 
i can say i relate. 
no matter how much i get provoked, i shouldnt (cliche phrase) "sink to their level".

"Do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? 
That a Pandora's Box of all the secret hateful parts -- your arrogance, your spite, your condescension -- has sprung open. 
Someone provokes you, and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them. 
Hello, it's Mr. Nasty. "

im doing decent in school, although this quarter is gonna be realllyyy rough.
and this term paper in history will be the death of me.

oh and my dad went away for the week end leaving me with an empty fridge and a sink full of dishes
and he didnt call me once
and ive been amd at him for like a month and he hasnt noticed, and when i mentioned it he said he did
but basically didnt care
sweet. lol

college? are you there yet?
oh and speaking of....im going to accepted students day in april. im excited!!!!

much to be excited about. prom. seaside. graduation. south carolina. summer. COLLEGE! eff yeah!
and its nice to have someone to share it with<3

oh yeah and ive bene thinking lately.....EVERYhting about me has changed so much over each year.
i feel like ive been 4 different people. 
and the me now, might hate the me from last year, although its still buried in there soemwhere
i swear i had no shame haha.

meh still dont.

k im done.

Good Things

[19 Mar 2006|01:26am]
i need to tie a few loose ends before i go away to school. i want to start now.

oh and prom can suck it.

"you have like...the perfect face."


thats it. <3
Good Things

beautiful [06 Mar 2006|02:52pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

yeah i really have nothing to write about. 
but since i dont talk to nicole anymore, 
i suppose il write in this so she knows im alive. 
HA!
anyway nothings new. schools the same
works the same, i love it, and everyone i work with
with the exception that my boss forgets to pay me....
my freinds are all good for the most part
a lot of them are coming hoem for break
whih is nice since i miss them
my dads out of his mind lately and will like
yell at me for a while, and then completely feel bad and apolagize.
brian is lovely as usual
i really have nothing to complain about, at all.
so i wont. 
things are good and i like them this way
meh.
ali's happy<3

1 comment|Good Things

[26 Feb 2006|03:43am]
We were on the phone when I made up my mind
I want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time
 

gotta love the spill canvas

anyway lifes been good. 
ive been ridiculously insecure lately, which annoys the hell out of me, but il get over it soon.

ummm....south carolina 06 is really happeneing? i cnat even believe it, im just really excited.
me, my best freinds, and my boyfreind in south carolina, on the beach, for a week.

meh<3
3 comments|Good Things

[20 Feb 2006|11:34pm]
hey you know whats cool?

flowers for no reason

<3
1 comment|Good Things

[17 Feb 2006|01:47pm]
i dont have anything to talk about. i just felt like updating. toms coming home today, so is erin. that makes me happy (:
i wish nicoel was too....wer porbably going to improv, and its the best thing ever and she would get a kick out of it.
blaaaiiiiissszzzzeeeeee
ha.
yesterday was the 2 month of jessie. 
valentines day was sweet.
very typical....teddy bears, choc covered strawberries, bowling and valentines<3....
dinner with tyler was much much fun...i miss that kid soo much and il def be seeing him more now that he has a dif job
dinner with the girls last night wa also fun, i want to do it more often.
i even brought them to the inkwelll.....haha oh and i saw MARY! and i almost died....lol erins the only one who knows who that is
but trust me, it was scary....im so happy she didnt see me
all in all life is good. i spend about every other day with brian and things are going goooood
no tutoring this week, and today is the first day i work in days haha.
thanks to my apparently drunk boss LOL
anyway school is good, no obnoxious outbursts from anyone in a few days. all is well i suppose.
ha. the end.

oh and ps- its kind of my job to apolagize for things that aren't my fault....
so from me to you......
im sorry, that your sorry  (:
Good Things

[14 Feb 2006|12:14am]

i bet my 3 day wk end was better then urs. and i bet my valentine is better then yours too!

hm!

<3

1 comment|Good Things

[12 Feb 2006|02:06pm]
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:ali
Birthday:august 3rd
Birthplace:red bank
Current Location:holmdel
Eye Color:brown
Hair Color:light brown
Height:5'6 i swear!
Right Handed or Left Handed:right
Your Heritage:moslty russain, a little italian...romanian? spanish?
The Shoes You Wore Today:none
Your Weakness:choc covered strawberries, and light eyes
Your Fears:spiders and not being liked
Your Perfect Pizza:white slice with tomato
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:graduating
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:noooo......
Your Best Physical Feature:on very rare good days, my hair?
Your Bedtime:10 on week days, whenever on weekends
Your Most Missed Memory:my sms girls
Pepsi or Coke:coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:bk
Single or Group Dates:depends on the person
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:fresh!
Chocolate or Vanilla:icecream? vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:latte (;
Do you Smoke:nuh uh
Do you Swear:not often
Do you Sing:no way
Do you Shower Daily:noooo wayyy ha
Have you Been in Love:i hope not
Do you want to go to College:yes please
Do you want to get Married:not now
Do you belive in yourself:yup
Do you get Motion Sickness:never
Do you think you are Attractive:not right now haha
Are you a Health Freak:soemtimes
Do you get along with your Parents:mostly
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:yup
In the past month have you Smoked:noooo
In the past month have you been on Drugs:nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:yessir
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yup
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:not a whole box lol
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:nope
In the past month have you been on Stage:yupp!
In the past month have you been Dumped:nope (:
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:unfortunately not
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:no wayy
Ever been Drunk:yuh huh
Ever been called a Tease:hmmm....yes
Ever been Beaten up:me n the asian go at it soemtimes!
Ever Shoplifted:nopee
How do you want to Die:old
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:a soccer mom (;
What country would you most like to Visit:italy
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:blue/green..
Favourite Hair Color:no matter, i suppose not blonde
Short or Long Hair:depends...
Height:tallllllllll
Weight:bigger then me please
Best Clothing Style:surfer i guess
Number of Drugs I have taken:other than alcohol, 1
Number of CDs I own:lots
Number of Piercings:2
Number of Tattoos:0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:0!

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Good Things

[10 Feb 2006|06:04pm]

i had a grrreat time. no work tonite, my boss got in a car accident. but hes ok

blizzard tomorrow? id love to get snowed in with someoneeeeeee...

um....idk whats goin on tonite, improv jam then girls night in at my place? ehh i have work soo early tomorrow...

anyway thats all....well except for the fact that i hate every girl at mater dei with the excpetion of about 10.

i dont deserve that crap!!!!

anyway my life is pretty sweet right now. so there!!!

Good Things

(completely not emo livejournal entry) [09 Feb 2006|05:01pm]

im soooo excited and sooo nervous about tonite...yay!!!!

<3333333333

from tonite til next week should be quite awesome...

im even excited for valentines day (:

Good Things

[06 Feb 2006|10:17pm]

i miss jessie a lot lately. ive been thinking about her so much. it bothers me SO MUCH that everyone at mater dei is so into drugs, i mean it really, really bothers me. i dotn mena to preach, since i ahve smoked before and i do drink..but when i hear people tlaking about that stuff it just drives me nuts. i dotn know if i could take another close freind dying from something SO STUPID. i mean, you hear about it often enough, so learn from it. everyone thinks theyre invincible...like oh, it wouldnt happen to me. "i know my limits." no one knows theyre limits or there wouldnt be such thing, as accidental overdose. typical. you start drinking in jr high, you try weed in high school. snr yr your exposed to more, and at first it freaks you out and then you get used to it. you try over the counter pills, and then perscription ones. none of it affects you negatively, so you get a tlorence for it. you get used to it, and your comfortable with it. you figure out what you like and dont like. you judge yourself, and not others. you try coke, and x and none of it phases you. you push your limits. you start mixing stuff "to see what happens" next thing you know you "see what happens" when you dotn wake up. it upsets me more than anything else has.

on a complete 360 of a topic, somehting really nice is happening, and i like it<3

2 comments|Good Things

[06 Feb 2006|12:34am]

went to bed in a bad mood, woke up in a good one. and...had a wonderful day (:

oh and loving nightmare of you. quite good

is this thing of ours still on?
for I haven't slept a wink since you have been gone
Now I want to be buried in your backyard
and when the flowers grow
just know you're still in my heart

Good Things

[05 Feb 2006|12:23am]

bad mood. dont ask me why, because im not telling. no, not even you.

spill canvas was lovely, although they played more of their new cd stuff, which disapointed me although it is expected

oh and all the tight pants and bad hair cuts amuse me way to much

"...dudes look like chicks, and chicks look like dykes, cause emo, is one step, below transvestite..."

Fade in, start the scene
Enter beautiful girl
But things are not what they seem
As we stand at the edge of the world

"Excuse me, sir,
But I have plans to die tonight
Oh, and you are directly in my way
And I bet you're gonna say it's not right"
My reply:
"Excuse me, miss
But do you have the slightest clue
Of exactly what you just said to me
And exactly who you're talking to?"

She said, "I don't care, you don't even know me"
I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

"You make it sound so easy to be alive
But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day
When everything inside me has died?"
My reply:
"Trust me, girl
I know your legs are pleading to leap
But I offer you this easy choice-
Instead of dying, living with me"

She said, "Are you crazy? You don't even know me."
I said, "I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully"
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough
And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough
I could stand here all night trying to convince you
But what good would that do?
My offer stands, and you must choose

"All right, you win, but I only give you one night
To prove yourself to be better than my atttempt at flight
I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap
I will toss myself from these very cliffs
And you'll never see it coming"
"Settle, precious, I know what you're going through
Just ten minutes before you got here I was going to jump too"

Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets

1 comment|Good Things

[02 Feb 2006|09:19pm]
im a slacker. i skipped tutroing to hang out with trisha. and i was late for tutoring yesterday because i fell asleep. i need like a weeks vacation. or maybe il sleep through some classes tomorrow. school, then work. saturday work, then i wanna go to the spill canvas show but i really dotn think anyone will go with me. sunday i have work too. im tired. good night <3
Good Things

[31 Jan 2006|10:23am]
well i woek up with an ear infection, which is normal i suppose it bothered m yesterday and i get them like once a motnh anyway. it sucks though, because im always emotional when im sick. even with stupid ear oinfections haha. ive had the weirdest dreams ever, i swear. like every night for the last week. they ahve my parents, my freinds, people i used to like...all these weird situations,. i dotn like it. its creepy. but yeah so i get a day off, which is nice, but i have to go to the dr, and then work at 4, which isnt so bad, im learning how to make icecream flying saucers haha. im so lame. oh yeah and last night was ridiculously fun. me trisha and kyle hung out and i just love that boy so so so much. hes so kyle. and then this morning me and the hippo were tlaking, and he wants to bring me soup cuz im sick. and now im tlaking to dave and hes telling me that my aids triggered the ear ache. i love my boys<3. meh i have to shower or soemthing i suppose. oh and soemone that i had a dream about, tried tlaking to me. weird. the end.
2 comments|Good Things

[29 Jan 2006|09:35pm]
oh yeah, and i had a weird fucking dream. it annoyed me in so mnay ways. i kept waking up and making myslef go back to it. its soemone that i tried to remove out of my life, or really they were removed. idk. but now theyre in my subcoscious and i want them gone! like now! fucking..ugh!... i enjoyed it to! i really, really enjoyed it. and i woek up so mad at myself. i hate dreams so much. the reinforce what you try to hide from yourself. ugh im so frustrated.
Good Things

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